Sharing the birthday prep load
Last week was Sadie’s 5th birthday. By now, I understand all that is involved in birthday party prep. There is a mammoth list that unfortunately often (not always) sits with mother dearest. Birthday parties are NOT the responsibility of mums but both parents.
This year, I put on my project management hat, split the tasks up, got support where needed and ta-dah the party didn’t result in me falling into a heap.
So here are my top takeaways:
From the outset, (if possible) split responsibility for party/birthday management. This year, Nick and I agreed that I would own Sadie’s and he would own Rocco’s celebrations. Some of the tasks to consider: invite list, invitation prep, actual invites and rsvp management, theming, decorations, games, music, food planning, food shop, food prep, presents, card, pre-party cleaning, birthday cake, post-party cleaning, game facilitating & general hosting.
Schedule time into the calendar for the party prep. I know it sounds super basic but I would typically wait for the day before to get it all under control. This year it was all done by the Thursday, party on Sunday which meant we could wake up on the day and simply setup and finish making food.
Choose food that is easy. We made cucumber cream cheese / vegemite and ham & cheese sandwiches, mini marg pizzas, spinach and ricotta sausage rolls, cut up heaps of fruit, bbq snags and salads. Nick may have over-complicated things by adding in beef sliders.
Make it fun - My beautiful and creative friend Bianca sent me some ideas and got involved in the decorating. We involved the kids and painted newspaper to make hanging flowers. The result was a cheap, sustainable alternative to balloons and streamers.
5. One of the biggest tasks is food. Delegate. I gave the food planning to Nick which did involve me needing to LET GO and not micro-manage. Sharing your expectations (a variety of options catering to various dietary requirements) and minimum standards (not too much sugar, healthy options) here can help.
6. Friends and family will always ask what they can do. When my dad asked if I needed any help, instead of the usual “your presence is all that is needed” I asked him to manage the BBQ. My sister-in-law made the cake. My mother-in-law the salad.
7. Kids are thirsty, set up a water drinking station. And rather than goodie bags, consider a craft activity that the kids can take home with them. This kills two birds with one stone. We made wands, fairy and dragon wings and bracelets.
8. And this is a big one, try alternating birthday celebration styles year on year. Sadie’s 5th birthday was a banger, but her 6th is going to be a small outing with a couple of mates.
9. Lessons learned, the hard way: save the present unwrapping til the end of the day. Not only is it overwhelming for your child, but to constantly be unwrapping presents while greeting families was too much. Yes, everyone likes to get the reaction from their present but not only is it a constant clean up but all of the toys components get lost through the day and the cards mixed up. I have no idea who bought what for Sadie and I have no idea how this “Pets Alive” thing works. Also, do yourself a favour, put an RSVP phone number on your invites. This was a really simpleton error by me - I had no idea which kindergarten friends where coming along which made catering tricky!
10. Plan an after-party: Mine involved a well-deserved magnesium salted outdoor bath with Nick, the kids tucked up in bed as we de-briefed on the day. Sigh.
Having said ALL of the above, please hear me when I say this: you are by no means expected to host a birthday party for your child ~ the work involved is huge and this should be acknowledged. Your child can and will feel equally special and celebrated with an intimate family dinner, some candles and birthday wishes. You are just as good a parent as any in skipping the festivities. Power to you mama.
